Sick of People (part one)

I am really sick of people

particularly people who have pets who shouldnt.

BAD PET OWNERS!

Yes, I may be a little bit more of a dog person than your average joe but Im sorry, if you go and get a pet and bring it to live with you, you are adding a member to your family. treat it that way.

Why get a dog if youre just going to keep it outside? It's not a wolf. Dogs are domesticated and are no longer wild animals. Let it in your god damn house! How is a dog house outside any better than a stall at the pound? Same goes for cat owners. Why are you getting a cat if youre just going to let it roam around outside where it will either get eaten by a coyote, ran over by a car, or lost?!

what the hell is wrong with people??

This weekend is supposed to be one of the coldest effing weekends ever with down pours of heavy rain and even snow in places that never see snow.

HELLO! get a clue!

BRING YOUR PET INSIDE!

and if you don't, all I can hope is that your heater breaks and your roof springs a leak so you can get a little taste of your own bullshit medicine.

I am so sick of bad pet owners!

SICKKKKKKK MOVESSSSSSSSSS!

well, I'll tell you one thing,

I'll never get sick of watching this video.

These dance moves are enough to keep me entertained

for the rest of my LIFE!!

GOOOD ONEEEEE!!!!!!

WHAT THE PLUCK??!

I am so sick of thick eyebrows. Big bushy dark and shapeless ones. Why do people think this is ok?

It isn't!

I don't care if you're an old armenian man, or a 2 year-old child, if you have a unibrow, wax that shit! if those hairs are hanging down into your eyes or blending in with your hairline, start trimmin' Grandpa Munster! If you're blonde and you're sportin' big old black brows, dye those suckers Anne Hatheway in Alice In Wonderland!
it aint pretty!

and now it seems that the fashion and celebrity world are trying to trick us into thinking they are  acceptable or something by attempting to popularize big brows. Why in the world would you ever???
 I see so many photo shoots or magazine spreads these days of models with big thick dark-ass brows, but don't be fooled, people.  I dont care how anorexic and/or beautiful you are, big brows are never a good look.. Gross! you aint sellin me nothin! 

Eyebrows are meant to frame your face. to compliment it. I mean, they are a big deal, but THEY shouldnt be BIG!

it wasnt ok when Brooke Shileds was in her prime, Jennifer Connelly hasnt made it ok either. Peter Gallagher (well, any gallagher for that matter) is disgusting. I mean does anyone think that Frida was a sexy lookin' lady?? And hey, I'm not gonna lie, if I didnt pluck my brows on a regular basis, Id look like fuckin' wolf mother but I keep up on the pluck and I have bangs that very nicely cover my brows when needed.
 C'mon people, we all need to make little efforts to make ourselves look good, and unless you're Whoopi Goldberg, that should include plucking.
so for the love of all that is holy,
and because Im sick of it,
FUCKING PLUCK! 

Why does it always rain on me???

For as long as I can remember, no matter how beautiful, hot, sunny and perfect it was the whole week prior, it never fails to fucking rain on my fucking birthday! I am so sick of it!

Ive been planning a girl's getaway bday raodtrip up north for this weekend and of course, it's supposed to rain the whole mother effing time. Im sorry, it was just 90 degrees! what the fuck?

Why does Mother Nature hate my guts?

She knows I don't like the rain. She knows I love sun and heat and summer.

All I want for my birthday next year is SUN! and it's a big one next year... 30! so by george and dammit all, I should get what I want!

For now, I'm going to do anti-rain dances and chants in my room tonight and hope it does some good.

IM SO SICK OF BIRTHDAY RAIN!

Forever funny

So, my new favorite thing to do is make fun of Forever 21 models. It's endless hours of free entertainment and let me tell you, I really laugh out loud (so you burn calories too)!

Here's what you do: go to Forever21.com and pick any apparel section. It's up to you really; tops, dresses, bottoms... theyre all chalk-full of funny.

just scroll through and check out these girl's faces, their poses, their hair, their accessories, and geezus christ, some of the outfits these poor girls are put in.

I'll get your laughter started by sharing some of these choice examples of what they are putting on their site to "sell" these clothes to us:

derrrrrrr?

this poor girl...

I don't really know anyone who wants to look like SpongeBob SquarePants

nice poses

ok Risky Business, who is walkin' around in these outfits??

You know if your friend showed up in either of these you'd make her change before you were seen with her (unless you wanted to make yourself look better in which case, keep her in these gems)

nice face

we're all stars now in the dope show?

I mean, come on!

nice thong

ok beetlejuice

dear god, did this photo shoot not pay you enough for food?

EAT SOMETHING!

face and outfit, this one's a double whammy!

I mean????

And those are just a few!
There are so many laughs to be had at these girls' expense!
Go ahead and see for yourself. I can promise you fun times. I know I'll never get sick of it!

I am so sick of Valentine's haters!

To all you "I hate Valentine's Day/ Boycott Valentine's Day/ Valentine's Day sucks" people,

we get it. You're single and bitter or you're some cheap a-hole who should be single and probably will be soon.

Knock it off!

I'm single too, but I happen to like V-day. It's cute and my favorite candies are in stock!

So buy yourself a bag of conversation hearts or a $5 bouquet of flowers and cheap bottle of wine from Trader Joe's and save your boohoo anti v-day banters for someone who cares... oh wait, that's no one.

SHUT UP!

I am sick of it!

i am so sick of sneezing

there is no way to sneeze and not look like the twilight zone, SICK OF IT.

I am SO sick of the general public!

well this shot about sums it up.

I work in retail and I can't even put into words how sick I am of the general public

(but Im going to try)

Every day that I work, my mind is blown by the absolute mannerless scum of the earth excuses for human beings that I am forced to interact with. Where do they come from? How did they get this way? And where is my xanax????!!! They are like potato bugs: they serve no purpose on this planet, they are absolutely disgusting,  no one likes them, they dont speak english, and we all want to kill them!

I have so many stories and examples of mind-blowing scum I could share, I think I am going to make this one an on-going segment.

But to start, let's take yesterday...

within 15 minutes of clocking in, I wanted to crack open a bottle of booze and pop some xanis.

I am out in the parking lot and I see some fat fucking bitch and her fat pig of a boyfriend sitting in their car with the windows down. She opens her door (right in front of me) and tosses her Mc Donald's bag on the ground. WAAAAAAAAAA??????

I walk over and say "I'm sorryyyyyyyyy... did you want me to throw that away for you????????"

she looks up at me with her fat mouth full of food and says "yessssssccchhhhhh"

to which I reply "uh yeaaaaaaaaa, we really shouldn't be littering, should weeeeeee?????"

and I throw it away in the trashcan that was about 2 feet away from her .

as I walk back by, I shake my head and say "DISGUSTING!" 

I mean, Ive always wondered what kind of people did shit like that, now I know.

general public scum.

then, not 2 minutes later, I see some asshole left their dog in their car. Hmmm, it was about 90 degrees outside yesterday... GET A FUCKING CLUE! 

I wait to see who the fucker is... BIG SURPRISE! Another fatty!

The day continued to get better as I had a record breaking number of EBT (ab)users. I am sooooo sick of that!

Then, my favorite thing... idiot standing at an empty register. 

I finish a transaction, there's no line, it's slow, so I close and turn around to start bagging for the next cashier over when out of the corner of my eye, I see some high and mighty asshole standing at my empty register as if waiting for me to run over and open just for him! Oh, I'm sorry I didnt sprinkle rose petals for ya, asshole!

So I wait, and then I turn around and he says "are you open?" I walk over and say "a pretty good indicator to if a register is open or not is if no one is standing there! that usual means theyre closed."

He says "well I just saw you..." 

"you saw me close and turn around to bag for them? yea, closed"

but I take him anyway just so I can continue my rage. He says "never mind, I don't want to put you out"

and I say "too late." then I tell him "ya know, it just baffles my mind the things I see people do here that before I worked here, I wouldve never thought people did. Like, standing at an empty register and expecting someone to open just for them. I mean, I would NEVER even THINK to do that! Do you do that at Target or Ralphs? I just can't believe what I see here" he thinks he's funny and he says "you should start a journal" I say, "well, I started a blog.... and you are going to be tonight's post!"

BOO YA!
don't ask me how I still have a job, but I will not put my normal human emotions on the back burner for some piece of disrespectful trash! I am not from Stepford!

so, consider this part 1 of many to come on how sick I am of the general public!

SO SICK OF IT!

I am sick of faulty recipes!

I am so sick of seeing a "good" and "easy" recipe and thinking, 'hey! I  can do that! Im gonna try it!" and then I do and it sucks!

You go buy all the ingredients, go back home, put on your cute Anthro apron and some good music to cook by (may I suggest KOOP) and you start Martha Stewartin' it up! Youre having a good time, thinking everything looks right, giving yourself little kudos and pats on the back while sipping on your glass of wine during simmers.

You do a few taste tests... so far, so good. All is well until you reach that last step of tasting your final product. You take a taste, and BLECH! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?

You start trying to add more of this, or that, but you can't figure out where you messed up or what it needs. Doesnt really matter cuz it's fucked up now and so you end up throwing away the 20-30 bux you spent on the food, trading in your apron for your pj's and going to In N Out.

Thanks a lot Food Network! 

Im so sick of it!

i am SICK of comebacks

why do good comebacks only come an hour after your target is long gone? i'm sick of it! usually i just say oh really great, good one... but i mean a really good comeback, one that makes the person avoid eye contact with you from now on, a real zinger... they should just flow and punch that person right in the throat, how dare they talk to you like that? show some respect!

I am SO sick of smokers!

Alright!

I am so sick of smokers!

ALL OF YOU!

old people who started smoking when it was "glamourous"...

 it's fucking gross now so KNOCK IT OFF!

teenagers who still think it's "cool" to smoke with your friends at school...

 IT'S NOT SO QUIT IT!

hipsters who think it's the perfect added accessory to your over-sized fake glasses and can of PBR...

 it just makes you look even more stupid so GET A CLUE!

Armenian bros who think it makes you look good, especially while youre driving your leased BMW or standing in front of that "no smoking" sign at Starbucks...

it only makes you look and sound even more disgusting and makes us hate you even more so

PUT IT OUT... preferably in your own eye.

hot guy who I thought I liked until you had to leave the table and our great conversation to go have a cigarette...

God, you WERE perfect. WHY? WHY? WHYYYYYYYY?????

white trash mom whos pushing your baby in a stroller while puffing on your cancer stick and blowing toxic smoke in it's developing lungs, or driving with your child in the car, chain smoking with the window barely cracked...

 I mean, it doesn't matter, you smoked through your whole pregnancy and it only made the baby smaller and easier to deliver, right?

You shouldve been sterilized at birth. Keep smoking so you are killed off.

80 pound bulimic model who's daily calorie intake consists of a carton of cigarettes, vodka, and a few lines of cocaine...

Those bags under your eyes and sunken in cheeks really don't flatter you and you will probably die before the peak of your career.

EAT SOMETHING AND STOP SMOKING!

Organic only hippie who smokes while riding your bike around town in the rain...

'nough said!

STOP IT!

delusional douche bag who gives me a dirty look when I start coughing or plugging my nose as you blow your stank-ass smoke in my face...

You are the offender, my friend.

PARTY'S OVER!

and to anyone else who smokes that I didnt get to, you don't look cool or ironic or chic or hot. You look stupid and the larger part of the population hates you and we are SICK OF YOU ALL!

QUIT IT!  

i am SO funny and SO sick of it

i am so sick of no one knowing how funny i am. sometimes it is my fault because i suffer from a severe case of stage fright but most of the time its your fault. what's wrong with you? have a sense of humor? did you see the face i just made? cmon. i cant even help those faces, they're natural! i am SO sick of it.

the ex text

well there are a couple different ways to take this one, but either way, Im sick of it.

you broke up w/ your bf, or he callously dumped your ass (even though you are probably the best he'll ever do, let's face it) and you should now be concentrating on getting over it, moving on, and finding a new beautiful boy! But Instead, you are playing the ex text game. well, the ending to this one is pretty much always gonna be, YOU LOSE! but we are women and we can't help it, we play anyway.

scenario 1- He dumped your ass:

it's sad, it sucks, but youre probably better off. we know that, you probably do too deep down in the very darkest, bottom corner of that wilting soul of yours, you just dont want to admit it. and that's fine. we've all seen 500 Days Of Summer . you also dont want to admit that you are anything but over it (though you tell everyone you know that you are. it's what we do) and you are secretly staring at your phone in the hopes of somehow manifesting a text from him by the power of the universe. It's fine, we've all heard of The Secret. This self-destructive behavior continues on and on until one day, when you are taking a brief break from your busy text-checking schedule, because youve been distracted by a total hottie youve just spotted and youve started thinking "shit! maybe this could be my new bf! we'd have such beautiful children!", it happens. You get the ex text.  Of course, it's usually something meaningful and touching that hits you right in that ex-shaped hole in your heart and immediately wraps you right back around their fucking little finger. Something like, "hey."  "what's up?" or god forbid, "what are you doing?".
 Holy shit! he wants to know what Im doing?? He still cares! He said hey! what do i do???

and so the game begins.

Youve forgotten about the hottie and your future children. Now youre back in full blown ex text mania.

Do you text back? Do you wait and hour and then text back? Do you respond with something that will make him think youre totally busy and over it so he'll be jealous and come crawling back?????

It is no easy thing to deal with. So you do what you know you shouldnt do (and of course you dont tell any of your friends until like 2-3 days later cuz you know theyll give you shit) and you text back. 

here's the beginning to your loss.

He now knows youre still into him, so he'll play the game too. He'll text you a couple more times, with a nice gap in between, making you crazy. Then just when you think youre getting somewhere, like maybe he's gonna ask you out? maybe he's gonna come over???

he says something like "k later" or "Kyle just got here, ttyl" or worst of all "k have a good night".

Have a good night?? How the hell do you expect me to do that now?!

You lose! 

Scenario 2- you did this:

You know there was a damn good reason why you broke it off. but now that youre not hearing from him like you used to, and when you do, he sounds fine (what? he's not crying or contemplating suicide over the loss of meeeee???) you begin to pathetically check your phone every few minutes, hoping to see the ex text. and much like in scenario 1,  just when you finally change your playlist from "Our Songs" to "All The Single Ladies" and you decide to go out with the girls and thank god you did cuz you spot a babe at the bar and start to think, 'damn, im so glad im single!', it happens. You get the ex text. It's usually the same thoughtful text as scenario 1, but in this scenario, you could get more than "hey". You could get the big one! the "miss you". 

FUCK!

well, there goes girl's night. You gotta rush home now! you gotta reapply your make up and fix your hair and put on his favorite pair of panties just in case he says he wants to see you!

and so it begins.

Now in this one, you might get a few of those texts that were exactly what you wanted to hear. Then you get it in your head that maybe you made a mistake and maybe you two should get back together. He wants to.

doesnt he??

well, you get so caught up in the ex text game that you go from "the one" to "RUNNNN!" in a flash. You start texting him  "good morning" and sending him picture messages of the pie you made (it was his favorite kind). Maybe you even sneak a call in here and there. You text little things you guys used to say to each other and tell him details of your day. then his texts begin to decrease which of course makes you text even more.  but then you have to play the game. wait an hour to reply. or only reply with a one word answer with a period at the end instead of an exclamation mark to show youre serious. oooo yea, that'll get him!

but you end up over texting. you text and text and text, (what's wrong with that? you're friends, right?? uh, WRONG!) cuz finally,  he doesnt text you back. he stops. no texts. or worse, only a one word text with a period at the end!

thats when you know. You killed it. it's over. You Lose.

so to sum it up, the ex text is shit. no matter how the ex text game is played, it fucking sucks and youre always gonna lose 

and for the love of god and all that is holy,

I am so sick of it!

Dear White Dreadlock Guy

yea yea, you know who you are. Youre the dude who just wandered off the Venice Boardwalk and somehow found yourself on the streets of my neighborhood. 

Yea, I noticed you, but not for any good reason.

In fact, the only reason you caught my attention at all was cuz I was making fun of you:

"ok Brandon Boyd in the early early days of Incubus. Nice try!!"

You started showing your dirty mug at my store about a month ago and you look like youre lost.

well, I mean, you are. Venice is THAT WAY DUDE! --->

You strut in in those baggy camo pants, your dirty poncho, and that perma-stoner smile smacked across your face. You swing your dreads around like youre proud of your homelessness.

I havent talked to you, but I dont need to. I know your story.

I know youre younger than me. I know youre high.

and I know youre paying for that organic shit with EBT.

 I also know something you seem to not know,

YOURE WHITE!
nice dreads...
Im sure your parents are loaded with cash and you probably come from a really nice neighborhood where you grew up in a large, 2-story home with your own bathroom and view of the ocean. You're right, you've had a tough life, and the world should feel sorry for you and notice you now that youve tossed that life of luxury to the wind and chosen this life of high happy homeless man.

And ok, maybe you do have a cute face underneath that filth you wear proudly and maybe you are a "nice guy", but im so sure youd be anyone's idea of a date when theyd come over and see you strumming your guitar talentlessly, rolling a joint while youre still already high, wrapping your dreads up into a bun while scratching at your flea-ridden scalp, and damn, you'd sweep them off their feet when you pull out your welfare card to buy their sandwich! OOO yea! man of my dreams!

GET A CLUE!

so, White Dreadlock Guy,

knock it off! You don't belong.

Go back to Venice where you can blend in with the other white dreadlock welfare stoner dudes who probably came from rich OC neighborhoods.

WE ARE SICK OF IT!

I am sick (and not of it)

yea, I'm sick today, but I'm so not sick of it. I mean, what's to be sick of?

I only have a cold, I lost my voice (which if you ask me, I sound super cute)

Im really tired and have a headache.

But along with that comes the joys of getting to stay in bed most of the day, sleep, take a hot bath, drink soothing tea, sleep, cuddle up with the dogs, watch endless hours of good tv on the couch, and sleep more. Oh, and the best part of it all, I don't have to work!
Hells yea! Time for The Nanny marathon and...uh... more sleep!

Im so not sick of being sick!

i am SICK of locker rooms

i am so sick of going in the locker room at the gym to put my keys away and being blindsided by at least 3 naked people having conversations with each other... if you have to take a shower go home, if you want to talk put on some clothes, changing should not be nauseating... i don't know what makes showers scarier, hitchcock's psycho or a nude 62 year old woman washing her armpits telling her friend phyllis about her dream last night, SICK OF IT

American Apparel

Ok are you effing serious??

We are so sick of American Apparel.

Like, what the eff is this?!

I mean really???? 

yea, you're right, now that I see a tranny doing a back bend with a boner, I totally want to buy that Barney-colored unitard!

 sick of it.

if my bf EVER!!!!!!!!!!

yea, skid marks are so hot! great marketing ploy. 

good bye!

 oh hey dad. Just spreadin' 'em for American Apparel. Not a big deal.

so

sick

of

it

what are they even trying to sell here? socks?????? nice try. I'm now more interested in buying  a raiser!

ooh yea! SOLD!

yea, start 'em young.

nice try. we get it.

so gross. 

we are so sick of it.

sick of skinny

what the???

we are so sick of it

sick of it saturdays

Well, it's saturday and it would be a nice day except I have to work.
 Im so sick of it.

Im also really sick of waking up with a sore throat every morning and then it going away after a few hours and then coming back at night before I go to sleep.
I think it's from how mother effing cold it's been lately. Im so sick of it!

Im also sick of Direct Tv. I woke up and Sandy told me to watch True Life but she has Direct Tv and I have cable so, of course our programming is different and I couldnt watch what she was watching so I had to watch Jersey Shore, which Im not really sick of.

I know there's plenty more Im going to be sick of today but I'll save all that till after work

(cuz there is soooo much Im sick of there)

LATERRRRRRRRR

Welcome and we are sick of it

Hey there. So we are basically sick of everything and everyone we see and we figured it best to share it all with the rest of the world so maybe people can get a clue and knock it off.

We are going to be posting, well, everything we are sick of.

So welcome, enjoy, and be sick of it too.