ASK ME FOR MY NUMBER

I am getting really sick of no one asking me for my bloody phone number, especially when i see you staring at me across a skate park or trader joes. Come on! I would so give it to you and also go out with you to dinner. You are so cute and I am so funny and we would make a great couple, or at least a great date. So next time, don't make me take this picture of you so I have an excuse to talk to you? And when i do, maybe then ask me for it? No? Still? Ok then ill write it down on a post it and give it to you... but I am not happy about it, call me cutie.

I am so sick of it "only happening in movies"

Well, we've all seen 'em and we've all heard it...

"that only happens in movies".

UGH!

Now let me start off by saying that I am a major chick flicker. I love them. GUILTY!

but why the hell can't things like that ever happen in real life??

For example, my friend and I had another stupid day at work and decided to get a couple of beers, make some food, and watch "Going The Distance" tonight after work. 

Justin Long is a total babe/sweetheart in it (hello, can I just marry him?! geezus) and Drew's character is fun, blunt, and spunky- basically the girl I think I am but am actually a long ways off from. Like Natalie Portman's character in Garden State. I still strive to be Sam...

Anyway, we both really enjoyed the movie, but as we always are at the end of a good rom com, we were left like, 'well I guess I'll go Youtube that sad/pretty song that played at the most romantic scene, replay it 15 times, and cry to it while facebook stalking in my bed...ALONE'. 

I mean, he surprises her at work with roses, and lights a path of candles for her to walk in the room to. and while ok, i get it, things like that only happen in movies, he does do other little things like, calls her on the phone. what?! Yes, he actually dials her number and hears her voice. I know, weird. And what's more? he does so on a regular basis! Like, he actually thinks of her on the daily. WOW!

 He asks her out to dinner which, I think I've heard of that happening before in real life... something about a "date"? I don't know, it rings a bell.

 He calls her "babe" and "baby", takes her to the airport, and talks about her to his friends.

Now, I know it's a movie and call me old fashioned, but I just don't think those things are too much to ask of a dude. Is that crazy of me? Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic or an unrealistic woman with a vivid imagination (I am a Pisces), but I still believe that somewhere out there in this great big old wide world there are men like that who actually exist. Or there's one. There has to be. And wether or not he will ever come my way is a gamble, but a girl can dream.

Im just so sick of meeting a guy who you are convinced just might be your "Harry Burns" or your "Noah", "Mark Darcy", or "Jack Dawson" and then they turn out to be nothing but a Jack Torrance or some asshole who's just not that into you.

I mean, sure, I'm crazy and weird and my hour glass silhouette is starting to look more like Sponge Bob every day, but I'm fun and funny, and I have bangs and talent! So why is it mission impossible to bag a nice boy who'd give his right hand for me?? I just want to be happy and have some hot guy with facial hair, fake glasses, a beanie, and some tattoos fall head over heals madly in love with me and want to talk to me daily, see me often, and surprise me every now and then! Is that so goddamn much to ask for?? For the love!

But alas, it only happens in movies and, let's face it, if some dream boat chick flick-type guy actually did walk into my life, he'd be an ugly as sin unemployed cat-loving vegetarian and I wouldnt be the slightest bit interested.

Welp, time to Youtube that song...

Seriously??

I don't even need to say anything else:

we are still sick of you,  Gaga

NEW GIRL!

Alright everyone, it is time for  a big announcement! Our good friend, Miss Mia Marvel is really sick of not being a part of our blog, and frankly, we're sick of it too.

So we're adding her on the band wagon.

She has a lot to complain about and is a damn good writer so... this should be good! stay tuned for her first post soon!

and help us welcome

MISS MIA MARVEL! 

I am so sick of gas prices!

Ok what the fuck?

Gas prices are out of confuckingtrol!

Im really starting to get freaked out here, people.

I drive an older Honda Civic, "good on gas". well that's great and all but when gas costs a paycheck a gallon, what difference does it make really??

How the hell am I supposed to be able to afford to drive anymore? Is the government trying to make us homebodies? Are they trying to make us kill ourselves?

I seriously don't understand what they expect us to do.

pretty soon, regular gas will cost 5 bux a gallon?? UMMMMM???!!! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND?! That's a Subway sandwich!

and it's not like I can afford a Prius or like I can ride a bike everywhere I need to go.

what are we supposed to do?

and what's worse, there's absolutely no apparent reason for this rise in price.

Will my future children ever be able to afford to drive? Can I afford to drive to the beach this summer? Can I afford to drive to work every day????

I don't know how the a-holes with Hummers are affording to drive right now, although I guess I don't really care about that since they are a-holes in the first place, but for the rest of us decent, normal car commuters, WHAT THE FUCK?!

So Dear America, 

thanks a whole hell of a lot for fucking us in the ass with your gas.

WE ARE ALL SO SICK OF IT!